Parshas Toldos

Liyluy Nishmas Elchonon Tzvi ben R'Yisroel Menachem......In perek chaf zayin
posuk lamud dalid it says "K'shmoa Eisav es divrei aviv,Vayitzak tzi'aka
gedolah umarah ad miod,va'yomer l'aviv barcheini gam anochi avi"The Medrash
Rabah says,that Yaakov caused Esav to cry out one great and bitter cry,and
therefore he was paid back that his children in Shushan Habira were caused
to cry out a bitter cry as it says "Vayizaak Zi'aka gedola,umarah ad miod"
The Rosh Yeshiva ztl asks,what did Yaakov do wrong by taking the
brachos?Yaakov bought the bechoros from Esav,and it was daad Torah for him
to take the brachos.Furthermore,what choice did he have,his mother Rivka
forced him?He answers this in the name of his father Hagoan Rav Dovid
Liebowitz ztl.Rav Dovid says that of course Yaakov wasn't punished for the
tzaar that he caused Esav,he was an ones and was mechuyav to take
them,however his
 shortcoming was that he didn't feel bad enough for what he did.He didn't
have the right amount of tzaar for having caused another person pain.True he
had to do it but he should have felt worse for causin Esav so much pain.We
see the same idea from the Medrash Rabah that says that the reason why
Shchem was mi'anes Dinah,was because Yaakov held himself back from doing

chesed with Esav. Many Baalei Mussar answer,of course Yaakov should not have married his daughter off
to Esav,but he shouldn't have realized that she could have affected Esav and
brought him back and felt bad that he would not allow her to marry him.There
are times that we are forced into situations that we may have to cause
people pain,or just times that we are unable to come through for people,we
should be zoche to at least realize what we are unable to do and at least
feel bad for not coming through.As strange as it may seem,that could really
be
 the difference between doing the right and the wrong thing....Good Shabbos